Separated at birth?

Separated at birth?

Separated at birth?

Trunk Monkey-where it's okay for a monkey to kill a car thief and throw him into a river

He's actually a very good dancer.

I only want to be buried in your backyard if you write songs crossing Morrissey and the Cure

Sure, Nightmare of You may be a douchie NYC Emo band, but I really like this song. The bass line sounds a lot like The Cure and the words are very Morrisseyesque. They will be playing at River Fest in Troy, NY on June 17th for all of you that are interested.

Scarlett Johansen, best boobs in Hollywood?

According to In Touch magazine, Scarlett Johansen has the best boobs in Hollywood. I wouldn't say I disagree(for real boobs).

That means it's working!

In a search to add some substance to my blog, I thought I would review a product. I've only done this one other time with Lipfusion. And by the way, I'm still happy with the product but if you hurry you can get pretty much the same thing at Bath & Body Works for $5.

Anyway, I bought Loreal's Microdermabrasion kit yesterday at Price Chopper. Just a money saving tip if you want to get this product-get it this week at Price Chopper($18.00(on sale with advantage card)-$5.00 (with a coupon which is in the Sunday paper)=$13.00). It comes with a microdermabrasion scrub which you can use in the shower in the morning. It has the same crystals real microdermabrasion has in it(if you were to get it at a spa). I got microdermabasion at the spa and it sort of hurt(which of course means it's working). So I used this in the shower today. I first washed my face with Clerasil to cleanse. Then I used a quarter size amount and rubbed it into my face for about 1 minute. It sort of scratched and hurt a little which means, it was working. The second part of it was lotion, which i put on after my shower, of course. You use this product twice a week. My face did feel smoother and looked a little brighter. I only used it once so I will keep you updated on the results!

freelove on the freelove freeway

If you don't know me by now?

WTF?

OK, I know I just posted a thing about morrissey but what is this whole shit with morrissey interacted with children? It's very disturbing!

Morrissey on a child's program?

This is very odd. I don't know what is going on but it appears to be Morrissey on a early 80's british children's tv show. "Heaven knows I'm miserable now" is playing while the children look through a garden. All those kids are probably dead now.

UH OH!! Bill was just a "salted"!!

What's so funny? Find out in my next blog entry!

Separated at birth?

PLEASE LEARN THIS DANCE

CLICK HERE, AND YOU WILL SMILE-PROMISE

off to a rough start

Embedded blogging from Quebec

It is almost 8pm in lovely Montreal, CANADIA. I'm having a hard time. Let's just say my stomach doesn't feel too good and it was there was a very long line at customs. So, I just ate some yummy fries and smoked meat and McLean's on Peel St.

Well, we are watching a show on midgets. I don't want to blog, but I am being forced to. I have so many feelings. I think we're watching DeGrassi, not sure.



I think Montreal is getting a little bit scummy. I can't tell you how many bums are here and they hang out in front of the banks. You never make eye contact with bums because they might kill you. I'm not awesome like Nicole Richie giving a penny to a bum. What a nice girl. Maybe the bum will be nice and buy her a hamburger. It's not as bad though, when I saw the old lady in leather eating a pigeon. That's it for now folks. You'll have to wait and see if I ever blog again.

The 80's were awsome!

A rainy, drunken night...watching "National Lampoons Vacation" and reminiscing about the 1980's. It brings to mind Garbage Pail Kids the Movie. Check it out. I've seen it. It was cool. Unlike you.

I'm not a racialist, but...

cell phone pic of FF




SUNDAY APRIL 9, 2006, Cornell University, Ithaca, NY, Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab For Cutie. We left at around 2pm to head for the show. With coffee in tow, we hopped on I-88. Didn't listen to Franz Ferninand or Death Cab for Douchie on the way up, but rather the much awaited Morrissey album, Ringleader of the Tormentors. So, the ride there was pretty uneventful. We did stop at a good convient store where a diet soda, some gummi cherries, and preztels were purchased. We arrived in the college town of Ithaca, NY at around 4:30pm. We walked around the pre-made town with it's fake skater boys and art students on the street. Well, we first went to a place called Simeon's. We didn't eat there but we did get two free pint glasses which was a plus. Then we decided to go Macawber's. We walked in for a drink and some weird black guy was just standing up talking. I guess it was comedy night. There was only like 5 people in the place and it was completly quiet except for the guy talking. He told some okay jokes about Jews and Volkswagens. It was sort of amusing. The next guy, a 50 year old dude, sucked though. Then we went to some other "classy" place and ate a chicken red pepper sandwich with sweet potatoe frries. It was good. After that we headed to Cornell for the show. There were annoying rich "intelligent" kids, which really annoys me. They tried to be "alternative" but we know that they drive their BMW's and listen to fucking Dave Matthews. So, the venue was actually a gym. I sat on the floor until Franz Ferdinand came on. When they did we walked toward the stage. They were okay. They are Scottish so at least they are sort of cool. Plus they are skinny and have cool accents. During the intermission between sets I looked for a drink. They fucking unplugged the soda machines and they were serving water in cups. I waited in line and when it was my turn for water they were out of cups. People were bending down and drinking out of the spout-YUCK!! At this point I was pissed. Then Death Cab for Douchie came on. Let me just say, loud guitars and pussy voice, not a good mix. Geek rock. HORRIBLE! I mean Soul Meets Body is a good song on the radio but in concert-no thank you. We left soon after they started. End of story. Ipso-facto to me, to you. That's it!

I MISS MY WIENER SCHNITZEL!

So, it's a Thursday night, and what do I do? Order german food online! Yes, that's right folks, I'm that sick. I found a very nice website called, germandeli.com. In my search for german marshmallows I came across this site. I ordered numerous things which I will post. Spent $60 because I don't know what else to do with my money. Feel free to come over for delicious authentic german food.

Name                       Code                Qty   Each  Options
--------------------------------------------------------------------
ARO Erdbeer Joghurt        4009418219543         1   3.79
Schokolade (Strawberry
Yoghurt Chocolate), 200g
Trumpf Schogetten          4000607143007         1   2.19
Joghurt-Erdbeer 100g
(Yogurt-Strawberry
Filling)
Delba Sunflower Seed       096453958128          1   3.89
Bread, 500g
Kühne Barrel Sauerkraut    039045050558          1   3.99
Dallmayr Prodomo Coffee,   606044189604          1   4.49
8.8oz, Ground
The Best of My             9780966477702         1  13.49
Grandmother's German
Cookery
Alba Shaker French Fries   4000151000771         1   4.99
& Fried Potato Seasoning,
100g
Praum Butter Zwieback,     4006182000063         1   3.59
200g
Rama Margarine, 500g       40004235              1   4.49
                                        Subtotal  44.91
                                        Shipping  15.77
                                             Tax   0.00
                                           Total  60.68

Bill and I are in LOVE!!!

That's right folks, I'm in love with Bill Shannon!!! Who knew that we would end up together. Don't we make a lovely couple? It doesn't mean that the blog war isn't on though. YOU ARE DEAD BILL!! KILL BILL VOLUME 4!
BRING IT!

I LOVE MAEBY!

Isn't this the cutest thing? I love her. We got her on November 6, 2004. For some reason I like to get my animals at the Menands Pound. Probably because they freely give away animals without any questions. Well, unlike her older brother, Symon, who was there for over 2 months, little Maeby was only there for one day. She was sitting all proper in her cage. We didn't know if she was cute enough. Were we on drugs? She might be the custest rabbitess little thing ever.

For your viewing pleasure...

Morrissey is genius.

Morrissey is a genius. Enough said. If you don't get him, well then you are an ignorant fool.

What just happend?

Don't we look happy? Well, I'm not in this picture. I had just touched Tom's penis moments before. It was horrifying. I got sort of scared. I decided to play it nice so it wouldn't happen again. I really understand that very special epoisode of "Different Strokes" now. And yes, Tom is huge.

HERB sucks.

You know what I don't like? People who promise things and don't follow through. This is the case with my good friend, HERB. He was supposed to go right home after our meal at Brook's BBQ last night and post a comment on my blog. He didn't. I'm sad. I hope HERB feels bad for his actions. 9pm, my foot your ass, HERB This is war!

Despite a Violent Episode of Vomiting, Today Was, as Ice Cube Might Say, A Good Day

After some careful discussion and a call to Bill Shannon, we decided to do nothing I spoke about in my blog earlier today. Instead we decided to travel to Cooperstown to the Ommegang Brewery. We arrived at about 3:45, and soon after, Bill Shannon arrived. We missed the last tour but we were able to join the beer tasting. We enjoyed samples of Witte, Rare Vos, Hennepin, Ommegang and Three Philosophers. Then some other beer that I wasn't really paying attention to because I was busy dipping pretzels into a wonderful Ommegang Horseradish Mustard, which I purchased for $5.50. I also bought a gift set which included 3 lovely Ommegang glasses, and a Rare Vos, Witte and Hennepin. I would recommend this tour, although I didn't even take it. Well, after our adventure at Ommegang we worked up an appetite. We drove a little bit down the road to a wonderful resturant called Brook's BBQ, where I ordered a half chicken. Unfortunately, I think I am slightly sick. I did manage to choke down salad, coleslaw, macaroni salad, chicken, fries, bread and chocolate cream pie but my stomach was feeling the burn. I ruined a chance to go to hip Oneonta bars, and drove back an hour feeling like I was going to die. When I got home I violently vomited. It was hard, but afterwards I ate some pink rabbit peeps and drank some soda and now I think I may be able to start drinking. Despite the sickness, today was a good day.

BEYONCE, GENIUS? I THINK SO

WHOOP THAT
TRICK, BEYONCE!




BEYONCE!! She is just a wonderful writer. Here are some lyrics that I find genius from the likes of Ms. Beyonce, Rowland and Williams, also known as Destiny's Child:

If your status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier

I'm not gon compromise my Christianity
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gon diss you on the internet
Cause my mama taught me better than that

I shake my jelly at every chance
When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance
I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have
Now let's cut a rug while we scat some jazz

so what you bought a pair of shoes
what now i guess you think i owe you
you dont have to call as much as you do
i'd give em back to be through with you
and so what my momma likes you
what now i guess you think i will too
even if the pope he said he likes you too
i dont really care cause you're a bug a boo


Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Those lyrics blow me away. Jay-Z is one lucky man. Or should we say Beyonce is one lucky woman? With songs like, "Hard Knock Life". I think the talent goes both ways here. My favorite is "Bonnie and Clyde" where they collaborated together.

What should I do today?

So, it's Saturday morning and I'm watching XY workout. For all of you that don't know XY is a music channel for the XY generation. Madonna's, "Music" video is on now. Wouldn't really like it but Ali G is featured in it. Well, anyway, I'm trying to decide what to do this weekend. Don't know wether to go to Montreal. I'm sort of interested in the Hotel called W. Looks funky, but I'm not so sure how close it is to the strip clubs. My other option would be to go to the Lee, MA Prime Outlets or Manchester, VT designer outlets and then a brew pub crawl. Well, this blog entry is really useless but I just wanted to put some funny pictures I found up. ENJOY!!

I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A STAR!

Well, it's Friday night and I just got back from a delicious dinner at Jack's Oyster House in lovely downtown Albany. I dined on a fine cut of filet mignon. Who said, "meat is murder?" Oh wait, that was my favorite artist, Morrissey. Maybe he was right but I sure did enjoy the flavor of murder tonight. Well, that is neither here nor there. What I really would like to discuss in this blog entry is a recent purchase of mine, LIPFUSION. While flipping through the best and most resourceful magazine ever, Star, I stumbled across a favorite lip gloss of the stars. Not only were stars like Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson and Lindsey Hohan using this product, but it also promised plumper, fuller, and smoother lips!! I needed this right away. I mean if it was good enough for Lindsey Hohan then it must be good enough for me!! So I went to the website and saw what were miracle results. I decided to order it, actaully the XL Night Treatment for a mere $50. It did come with a free pink gloss also. I waited almost a week for it to come, dreaming of having whorish lips like Lindsey Hohan. Well, it finally came, I ripped it from the box and smeared it all over my lips. I immediatly felt a tingle....it must be working I thought to myself. I looked in the mirror. My lips did look a little fuller, not as much as a hoped but I was happy with the results. So the conclusion that I must come to about this product is that although it might not make your lips as dick sucking delcious as Lindsey Hohan it does plump slightly. My only gripe about this is the $50 price tag. That's a little crazy.

oh how I want to live in the ghetto

Today at work I recieved a lovely surprise. On my voicemail I got a wonderfun message from a person who didn't realize that they were even leaving it. In the message there is a woman who gets very excited about having a phone. The conversation goes something like this:


Now we got a phone, yo if we don't feel like cookin nothin we can call the resturant and order chicken wings and shit. ( young jeezy in background-YEAH, YEAH) hot wings and shit. I'll get you some soda and me some beer. It'll be the shit. (young jeezy in background again, "YEAH THATS FOOD RIGHT THERE")

Then they began talking about their food stamp card and Walmart. I want to hang out with them. It was almost as good as when my good friend Bill Shannon and myself were standing in front of Broadway Joe's in downtown Albany and saw the coolest man ever walking down the street saying, "In the ghetto, we don't have that shit." It was awsome!

Well, this is my first blog in probably almost 2 years. I'm sort of drunk off Rare Vos which is delicious!! I drank some Brooklyn Fortitude yesterday at the lovely Bombers Burrito Bar in Albany, NY. It is 9.1% alcohol. Let me tell you, after 2 of them bad boys I was wasted!! I even went into CVS and purchased some chocolate hollow rabbits and a chirping chick. It was wild. Well, this isn't the end of TT. You will be seeing more of me and my brillant thoughts in the near future.

Don't forget, I LOVE YOU BILL SHANNON! COME BACK SOON!