Vintage Pictures

Man hides Dildos in Sausage.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said Wednesday.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.

But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.

"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in Dubai will have to say about it."

Why didn't the guy just buy sausage dildo?

I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Ummmm...what is going on with Sharon Stone's dress? Gross.

Babyback ribs...

I love my baby, but it's a real pain in the ribs sometimes.

"The Birds" is a funny movie

Birds attacking people...priceless!

Tracy Morgan is great!

The Best of Kevin from "The Office"

Glow Sticks, whistles and gayness....

Brad Pitt doesn't have a soul.

SNL was a mediocre show at best

Why is it that a couple times a month there has to be a show with people from SNL talking about what a good show and how ground breaking it is. The truth is that in it's day it wasn't very funny and now it's not funny at all. They take one little joke that's not funny and drag it out for about 5 minutes too long. I happened to turn it on this weekend and they were making fun of some sort of techno music show. First off, you're about 10 years too late on this and secondly, techno only appeals to about .02 % of the population. It's horrible and should be taken off the air.

Mutter Museum

If you're ever visiting Philadelphia I would recommend checking out the Mutter Museum. It is filled with medical oddities. It's really scary the types of diseases that existed 100 years ago and still exist in some parts of the world. I went last November. It was a little crowded so I didn't get to look as much as I wanted to. I just remember things in jars.

Switch Zoo

Click here to make weird animals. YEAH!

(Some)Italian Americans are ignorant.

Let me begin by saying that I'm part Italian and I have grown up around many Italian Americans. I also took some Italian in college. Even from a young age, I never understood why people would say words like mootz-a-rell instead of mozzarella, pro-shoot instead of prosciutto, spi-gget instead of spaghetti, mani-goat instead of manicotti, guv-a-deel instead than cavatelli, etc... I thought maybe that is how they said it in the old country. Well, what I've learned is that most American's of Italian descent don't know shit about Italy. In Italy they don't say any of these words this way. It's a stupid bastardized way that NYC and New Jersey Italian Immigrants began to speak because they couldn't write words correctly. Basically, it's an affectation. It's much like Ebonics. People can say words however they want, but I hate how people who mispronounce these words think that they are so "cultured" and are saying them correctly. Don't explain to me how I need to understand that people from certain parts of Italy speak that way, when what you really mean is people from certain parts of New Jersey do.

I call this one the unicorn

I don't really know what this site is, but it's gross.
Bill, remember when we were watching ghetto Charlie Brown and wondered where they were getting all those weird slang terms from? I think they looked on this site. (don't worry, it's only cartoon drawings, which makes it better right?)

The Brothers Solomon

This could be really funny or sort of dumb.

Oh, Pickle, you're in a pickle again!

Someone finally calls Bono out !

A Dutch artist, Frans Smeets, has created a sculpture of the U2 frontman, in Jesus garb with a Nike sign and Emporio Armani sunglasses. At his feet lies a dying African child in which he is totally disinterested.

The controversial work is entitled “Jesus Loves You Too.”

(taken from Perezhilton.com)

This is not my picture or cat. I found it on the internet(what a wonderful thing!) My cat, Symon, decided to projectile vomit this morning all over the rug. How adorable. He's been hiding ever since. I feel bad for Symon because he can't help his vomiting and I know that he gets really embarrassed whenever he does it. I've asked the vet about this and they just seem to tell me that's what cat's do sometimes. I really am beginning to think doctors are completely useless, for animals and for people. I think of all the money that my insurance company has spent on me going to the doctor and they have seen me for a total of 5 minutes and have not answered any of my questions or given me any advice. Anything I've learned has been from books or the internet. I'm pretty sure I could "pretend" to be a doctor.

SUPERBAD

Don't cry over broken cake.

Do you ever have those days/weeks/months were nothing seems to go right? Nothing too bad happens but it's just an annoyance, enough to put you in a bad mood. I've had this type of annoyance for about the past three months. Cake seems to really put me over the edge. On my birthday my cake layers completely slipped off and turned into a delicious lump. People who witnessed this(thank god not many) know how I reacted. Today I spent all this time baking a coffee cake and when I went to turn it over it broke into pieces. I may be a little more sensitive about these things due to the whole pregnancy thing but it really seems like it's just one thing after another lately.

Tugboat roundup!

Click here to vote for my dad's tugboat, Tug Urger.

The Stockade is getting real seedy like.

Over the past few months I have seen the Stockade turn from having just a few "derelict" people to being over run by scumbags, drunks, crack heads and prostitutes. I'm getting really sick of driving down my street and seeing crack heads walking in the street, trying to talk to me, giving me the rape eyes, etc... It also makes me sick that some crack head stole my suitcase. I'm not a violent person but if I ever see a crack head wearing my clothes I may be inclined to run them down. Also, I'm sick of people coming through or gate and just walking into our backyard. We took a walk down to the river the other day at around 7pm and saw some dirt bags smoking pot in their car. Not to mention all the "gay sex" that goes down by the river. As much as I like the old and historic part of the Stockade I think I'll feel much safer away from here.

Dear Paul,

You will never be as cool as me. I AM THE HOFF!

Yours Truly,

The Hoff

This girl is very wholesome

Check out the website for "WholesomeWear". You to can wear a bathing suit that goes down to your wrists and ankles. It's to draw attention to your beautiful face, rather than the disgusting human body.

Music and Lyrics wasn't a bad movie.

There, I said it. (although, it wasn't necessarily good either)

Poor Little Lamb

This makes me sad.

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A lamb with seven legs was born in New Zealand but so badly deformed that it was likely to be destroyed, a local newspaper reported.

The lamb was born with an extra set of front legs and three back legs, the Ashburton Guardian newspaper, at Ashburton on the South Island, reported.

Farmer Dave Callaghan found the lamb in his field. Two of its legs hung useless behind the forelegs. The lamb walked using its two forelegs and three healthy hind legs.

Veterinarian Steve Williams said the lamb was also hermaphrodite, and was missing a part of its bowel so was unable to pass faeces.

He said it was this latter problem, rather than the fact it had seven legs, that meant it would probably have to be destroyed.

"It's quite a happy bright wee lamb, he's just slowly going downhill really," Williams said. "To keep it alive is probably inhumane really."

Dear Jenna Jamenson

Dear Jenna Jamenson,

You are not Victoria Beckam. You are a dirty STD infested porn star who has had plastic surgery on every part of your body(including your vagina). You also look like you might have some sort of terminal illness since you weigh about 80lbs. Thank god you have plastic balloons under your skin to give you that more "voluptuous" look.

Jack White poses for "Go Red"

This is the elephant's closet living relative?

A Hyrax posing on a rock. (doesn't he look dashing and quite elephant like?)

I think it has my head shape.....

Thanks to modern technology we get to see an outline of our little bean. This was taken about 5 weeks ago. You can't really tell too much of what he/she looks like but at least it appears to be human. In the previous ultrasound picture I was afraid that it was going to turn out like a prehistoric horse...that sounds weird but if you saw the picture you would know what i mean. I thought that the baby looked a little slim and was worried it wasn't big enough, but in the past week and a half I'm pretty sure it tripled in size and is well on it's way to being a nice fat baby(the kind that run in my family) We still don't know the sex and at this point I don't even know if I want to find out. It makes it more exciting that way.

America loves to watch people destroy themselves.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Seconds later the cake was gone and in my huge belly. YUM!

I want candy

This looks so incredibly good to me. I love the "real" cotton candy made fresh on a paper cone. It's hard to find because they all sell it pre-packaged even at fairs. I've always liked cotton candy but I really began to crave it in November when I had a dream about white cotton candy. I had to order it off the internet. Then the other day I had another dream about a bin of pink cotton candy. My doctor told me to cut down on my sugar. I'm trying but it's hard because all I want is candy. They say if you crave sweets you could be having a girl. I don't really buy into that. I've always liked candy.

Where is my mind?

I have nothing to blog about. My mind is blank. I've been having really bad memory problems lately. I forget words mid-sentence. I've never been very good with words, but now it's just pathetic. I don't know if it's from my "condition" or I'm just becoming retarded. Or maybe it's because I'm watching the Simple Life right now. That's bound to dumb down a person. I just can't believe how much of American society is borderline retarded. I went to Walmart today and these people can barely function. It's like that movie "Idiocracy". I feed into it though. I read mindless tabloid magazines and watch mindless tv.

I feel like a blob.

In pregnancy, there are points that you reach when you just feel like a blob. I was used to being a lean 106 lbs and being able to wear anything I wanted. Sometimes even the smallest size was too big on me. Now,25 lbs heavier and a belly bigger than my boobs, I'm having a really hard time finding clothing that "flatters" me. I am against maternity clothes so I have to find things with elastic waists and shirts that stretch enough to cover my ever expanding stomach. And my appetite does not help. I am hungry all the time and has been since day 1. I have a feeling this baby is going to be a big one! 16 weeks to go, so we'll see how much more weight I can gain. I ate dinosaur BBQ tonight. It was fantastic!! I sort of want more now. I hope after this child my appetite subsides, or all end up weighing 600 pounds and they'll have to knock out a wall and peel me off the couch to get me out.

Could Woolly Mammoths be resurrected?

This is amazing!!(at least to me anyway)

A Russian hunter traipsing through Russia's remote Arctic Yamalo-Nenetsk region in May noticed what he thought was a reindeer carcass sticking out of the damp snow. (See a map of Russia and its remote Siberian regions.)

On closer inspection, the "reindeer" turned out to be a 40,000-year-old baby mammoth, perfectly encased in ice.

The six-month-old female mammoth is the most well-preserved example yet found of the beasts, which lumbered across the Earth during the last Ice Age, 1.8 million to 11,500 years ago.

"It's a lovely little baby mammoth indeed, found in perfect condition," Alexei Tikhonov, deputy director of the Russian Academy of Science's Zoological Institute, told the Reuters news agency.

At 110 pounds (50 kilograms) and 51 inches long (130 centimeters long), the baby is the size of a large dog, Reuters reported.

Scientists are banking on the female—named "Lyuba" after the Russian hunter's wife—to reveal some of the genetic secrets of the prehistoric giants.

That's because Lyuda's excellent state—intact except for her shaggy locks—makes her a veritable treasure trove for research.

Emerging DNA technologies have already allowed some scientists to consider resurrecting the mammoth. (Read about the resurrection debate.)

Meanwhile, the newfound body will undergo three-dimensional computer mapping at Japan's Jikei University, followed by an autopsy at the Zoological Museum in St. Petersburg. The Ice Age toddler will end up on display in the Russian Arctic town of Salekhard.

—Christine Dell'Amore

We're multiplying!

In about 3 1/2 months we will be adding a new member to our family. We couldn't be more excited and I'm happy to have all of you share this time with us. I'm happy that our little bean will have such wonderful people in his or her life(and I truly mean that). If anyone has any name suggestions please feel free to tell us. We are having a hard time for both genders. I'm happy that he/she(I really hate not knowing the gender) will be here just in time for the holidays. I've had it easy so far(except gaining a ridiculous amount of weight-25 lbs so far!). I just hope I don't end up looking like Jabba the Hut. It's one of the weirdest and most amazing thing to have another person grow inside of you. One of the things I worry the most is what kind of world this child will be living in when it's my age. I just hope that we can start getting our shit together and stop fucking this world up. It's a scary thing and it's even scarier that people don't really seem to care.
We are finally moving out of the Stockade(I'm actually a bit sad, although I don't really want to admit that to Javen). We really wanted to get a house but decided that it's best to not be rushed and save money(you can't get a decent house for under $175,000 here). We hope to be in a lovely house by next summer.

Morrissey is a funny one

Morrissey on Madonna and her adopted son:

"I wouldn't be surprised if she [Madonna] made that African boy into a coat and wore him ... for 15 minutes, and then threw it away."

If you don't like me, then don't look at me.

If I don't tell a person something it's not that I'm trying to hide anything it's just that I don't care to tell you and I probably don't like you. People can come up with whatever stupid conclusions they'd like, but most likely their conclusions are wrong. I'm happier than I've ever been and I'm going to try not to let a few stupid comments upset me. I really am trying to remain calm and not let things bother me as much. I really can't believe the nerve of some people though...
(BTW, this is not meant for anyone who reads this blog. You guys are great!!)

Becks got back

Does Becks backside look a little feminine to you? I'm never seen a guy with a tattoo across their lower back like that. It's sort of like a guy having a belly button ring....

Symon might be mentally retarded

Sorry Paul, I think Symon is mentally retarded. Look at those vacant eyes. He has bizarre behaviors and often runs head first into windows. He also vomits on a regular basis and he gets very upset if we don't notice it and clean it up right away.
Speaking of vomit, I feel like I'm going to because I'm watching "Man Vs. Wild" and the guy is cutting up a dead sheep and cutting out the eyes. He tied his shoe lace around the meat and eyes and is boiling it in some glacier. I don't know about this guy. I think if I was faced with any sort of situation where I was stuck in the wilderness and didn't know if I was going to survive that I would just give up. I wouldn't be eating rotting sheep eyeballs or drinking water from elephant shit.

Nude pictures of Kathy Bates?

With tit's like that I thought it might be a topless picture of an older celebrity woman. Oh wait, it's just Jack Nicholson enjoying some time on a boat.

A rainy 4th and I'm exhausted.

Instead of enjoying the day outside I'm thinking about duck billed platypuses. God, I'm a dork. I woke up with a headache(probably due to the weather). I spent the whole day cooking and now my back is killing me. I never had back problems before and I'm not the type of person to change what i do to avoid them now. I guess I'll just have to deal then. I like having Wednesday's off. It's a nice break. I can deal with only two more days of work. This summer has been a disappointment weather wise. I really hope we start getting some sunnier warmer days.

The duck billed platypus may be the weirdest animal ever.

The duck billed platypus is a monotreme, meaning that they lay eggs. There are only two mammals that lay eggs-the platypus being one and the echidna being the other . Male platypuses are also venomous with the venom being in spurs on their hind legs. The venom can kill a dog and cause severe pain in humans. They have webbed feet, a tail like a beaver and a duck bill. The babies are fed by the mother's milk once they hatch. The weird part of that is that they don't have nipples, but rather the milk just comes out of their skin and the babies lick it off the mother's fur. Platypuses are only found in Australia.

This is an odd pairing